His Magnificent Healing Love: Part 1

Written by Maria Sainz

Over several days I began feeling more and more lethargic. A throbbing lower-back pain affected my ability to walk. A year prior, I was diagnosed with bladder disease, intersticial cystitis, and since then I’d never felt the same.

On this particular day my body finally came to a halt. A strange fatigue overtook me. That evening, my husband Rick drove me to the ER. At 7:00 p.m. it was a packed house. The murmur of people’s voices droned on and on on top of  a TV news program.

Finally at 10:00 p.m. my doctor saw me. Her attentive calm demeanor was comforting. She ordered a CT scan. No blanket could keep me warm as I shivered uncontrollably either from the cold air or from the anticipation of what they might find.
Just as I finally fell asleep around 1:00 a.m., the doctor whipped open the curtain around my bed, and sat on the edge.

“We found a very large mass in your pelvis,” she announced. “Some of the mass looks good but--some of it does not. It is large, 20 centimeters in size.”

“How big is that?” I asked.

“About 8 inches.”

I looked at her blankly.  I was so exhausted I didn’t know what to ask. I heard her say a few more things, but I don’t remember what they were. I think Rick was in a daze too.

The doctor discharged me at 4 a.m. As I dragged my feet across the slick polished floors toward the exit door, I had no idea of what was to come.

Early the next morning Rick drove me to an OB-GYN to help us find a surgeon in my insurance network. After a painful examination he brought Rick and I into his office to review the CT scan. I felt an odd tension building in the room. Then, he briskly rushed his assistant out of his office and closed the door and said,

“ I need to talk to you about the surgery and what we are looking to do here.”

Jolted with adrenaline my mind raced. My palms sweated profusely. My mouth got dry and I was unable to speak.

Rick asked, “What exactly are we talking about, Doctor?”

“Well, we will have to schedule a surgery right away. They will be removing the right ovary where the mass is for sure. Then we will remove anything else that needs to come out. Depending on what we find, we will do a hysterectomy, and explore the lymph nodes to see what condition they are in. If they don’t look good we will have to remove them as well.”

I couldn’t breathe. Is he really talking about me? I tried to be strong and hold back my reaction, but I gasped for air as my eyes flooded with tears. I was stunned. When I got in the car, I started crying uncontrollably. I could no longer deny the seriousness of my situation. Rick looked over at me as he was driving and covered my hand and squeezed.

I took a deep breath and turned to him. “Rick, we need to stick close through this.

He winked at me. “I am with you. We are going to do this together. I love you.”
I felt better for that instant. But when we arrived home, in a sudden moment of terror, I said to Rick, ”I can’t do this!”

For the moment my humanity invaded my faith. I felt fear override the reality that God’s word is alive and available for me always.

That day we contacted all of our friends to pray for me. It took days and many phone calls looking for a surgeon available for my urgent surgery. His office said there was  a two-week wait before a consultation and another two weeks before the actual surgery could be performed. The Lord gave us favor when my OB-GYN intervened and got me in for an appointment the following day.

When the surgeon examined me he immediately had his nurse contact various hospitals in the area for the soonest surgery date: October 4.

October 4 was the anniversary of the day I had given my life to the Lord thirteen years ago. What was the significance of that? I wondered. God reassured me that I was His and will always belong to Him no matter what. He is a faithful God full of compassion and grace for his children.

The following Sunday at the evening church service my pastor gave a message on healing. I felt like he was talking to me alone and my spiritual eyes were opened in a new way. If we believe God’s Word, it manifests in our life. My pastor reminded me to put my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ to heal me--not in anything or anyone else. His power is accessed by faith, not fear or doubt.

I tried to focus on this teaching. Yet as I was reading and meditating on the Word, I experienced an assault of fear like never before. No matter how many scriptures I used fear pursued me. I became consumed by anxious thoughts, conjuring up scenarios over and over in my mind. What was to come? Cancer? How bad is it? Am I going to have to go through chemo? Will my hair fall out? Am I going to die?

(To be continued.)